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Better Together

May 02, 2020

Hey Everyone

Are you thinking you are weird for enjoying the alone time afforded by the pandemic. No requirement to invite people over or accept social invitations.

Taking opportunity to relax your usual housekeeping minimum expectations.

Feeling sorry for your patients who are suffering with social isolation but internally elated for this new found happy place.

Do you often feel obligated to attend social functions or need to be prodded to extend yourself beyond Work, Relax, Sleep, Repeat. You're not sure if you have any hobbies.

Are you weird?
Are you depressed?
Are you Burnt Out?
Are you Naturally Self Isolating?
Are you Exhausted?

Or are you NORMAL?

Doctors can care for patients in emotional crisis, trouble shoot through a patient who is not obeying the flowchart, compartmentalize any experience in order to wholeheartedly be present for the next patient in the very next room.

But then there is later.
A time when we process the experiences
We replay encounters
We analyse
We Judge

Especially ourselves and our performance

This isn't always pretty
In fact is is painful and self critical
These thoughts trigger deeper memories
That we have tried to bury

Maybe we over-drink, over-eat
Or work until the wee hours of the morning
A way to punish ourselves or a way to cope

I want to take this time to let you know that is is a common experience of doctors to isolate themselves from others. However humans are not supposed to be alone.

You are worthy of other humans
You are a beloved friend
You can be held up by others

You deserve the healing that can come with the companionship of others. You can begin to heal a broken heart, a critical inner voice, a deep seated scar.

One thing I have learned being in the personal private space of physicians thoughts is that you are all bad-ass amazing who give way more that you receive.

You want to carry your painful experiences as your deepest darkest secrets, somehow thinking you had anything to do with the outcome. That you pour guilt and judgement on yourself in thicker layers than anyone else could ever. You carry expectations of yourself that you would never ever burden on another.

Please take opportunity to enjoy the reduced expectations and relaxation of your minimal standard of housekeeping.

But also - reach out to a friend or a colleague, demonstrate your capacity to befriend them without judgement and receive this for yourself. Someone who you can truly be yourself with. Someone who can hear your darkest secrets and love you anyway. Someone who pokes you when you disappear into your isolation.

And to our friends out there who love us without judgment and poke us when we self isolate - THANK YOU!

You mean more to us that you will ever know. You have talked us off a ledge when you were just being yourself.

You are a precious gift that we can't do without. ❤️❤️❤️

Better Together
That's what friends are for ❤️

xx Sarah, the Charting Coach

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